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Warnings: language, yaoi lemon, blood, violence, tap-dances the line of non-con and the dreaded sap.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or the characters therein. No profit is intended. I also apologize for my unforgivable slip into mushiness and blame it entirely on the rain. Anyone who knows me knows I'd rather rip out my brain than mention the "L" word, so it's obviously not my fault.

THOUGHTLESS

by GutterBall

Enraged, Vegeta roared and launched a full-out offensive flurry. Kakarot's head rocked back with a vicious jab, then snapped forward as a hard fist tagged into his gut. Countless rabbit punches later, the younger Saiyan crashed face first into the ground below after an axehandle to his unprotected back.

Vegeta roared again, his fury and frustration sending his energy skyrocketing. As Kakarot struggled to his feet, Vegeta's foot slammed into his head, sending him flying again, though not under his own power this time. Following like lightning, Vegeta drilled his fists into that broad chest, left-right-left, then the smiling, damnable, handsome face.

Bastard! Another devastating blow. Third-class bastard! Another blow. Beautiful, taunting son of a bitch! Another. Oblivious! Fucking oblivious!

I can't bear it a moment longer!

His roar sounding more desperate, more like a howl than the victorious shout he'd intended, he shoulder slammed into the object of his maddening frustration, embedding them both in the unforgiving rock of a cliff. Hot, hard flesh pressed against his own, and he broke, turning his head and kissing the lips that had taunted him lo, these many years.

Perhaps kissing wasn't the right word.

Need crashed over him harder than any blow Kakarot had ever landed as he devoured that forbidden mouth, thrusting his tongue against the other, thrusting down Kakarot's throat as he groaned desperately deep in his chest. All restraint, all logical thought gone, he tore at the clothing hiding the body he'd lusted after, needed for so long. Fabric shredded and flew, his own joining the rags and tatters of Kakarot's, until his aching, straining, naked body pressed against equally naked and straining skin.

And all he could think, the only coherent thought to surface, was...

Finally!

Something turned over in his mind, and he tore his mouth away from Kakarot's, bared his teeth, and darted his head forward, sinking his canines into the muscle connecting his desire's shoulder and neck. Pungeant, hot, sweet blood flooded his mouth as that glorious, shifting body stiffened against him, and Vegeta swallowed it down greedily. A jolt of pure lust shot from his groin to his brain, lighting him up as his energy skyrocketed to Super Saiyan.

Riding the mind-blowing crest of that searing power, he dragged Kakarot's thighs up around his waist and shoved into the vulnerable entrance, the sensation of tight, hard flesh giving around him drawing a tortured, almost anguished howl from his throat. He threw back his head, tearing his teeth out of Kakarot's neck to let that soulful, ear-splitting cry echo against the cliff face.

Kakarot's cry was equally deafening, but Vegeta ignored it. He definitely heard it, and it definitely sent up warning flags, but his body had already moved on, pulling away only to thrust again even harder, the rush of ecstacy easily and relentlessly swallowing everything else.

Harder still, his thrusts sped up until he lost track of everything but the intoxicating rock and sway of what he'd wanted, desired, needed for as long as he could remember. The entirety of the world was reduced to this...this mindless pleasure, this priceless theft, this forbidden moment in time.

His release flayed him open, ripped his heart as it ripped a primal scream from his throat, and he again bit into Kakarot's neck, reopening the wound that had already begun to heal. A fresh gout of blood flooded his mouth and throat, drowning his cry and soothing the ache in his soul.

It was finished.

He slumped as the tide of sweet release receded and withdrew his teeth, though he still lapped at the wound, his tongue as gentle now as it had been savage earlier. His hands stroked and caressed the skin and muscle he'd so wanted to savor, his touch soft and soothing to make up for the earlier brutal submission. He cherished the satiny skin, the shift of iron muscle, the press of so very much heat against his body.

So many years spent worshipping from afar, swallowing his desire, convincing himself he didn't need this. He had touched this man countless times in his dreams, but he'd never truly expected to physically claim Kakarot. Kakarot was stronger. Kakarot was more skilled at escape than any creature Vegeta had ever cornered. And Kakarot was already mated, though he and his harpy had temporarily separated earlier that year.

Long, slow licks soothed the wound he'd made as he became aware of the world around him again. Kakarot's chest heaved, but he didn't seem inclined to shove Vegeta away. In fact, the younger Saiyan didn't seem inclined to do much of anything but slump against the cliff face behind him while Vegeta came down from the heights, holding them both up by leaning heavily into Kakarot's body.

"Kakarot...."

He heard the purr in his voice and wondered if he'd ever felt both so satisfied and so hesitant for a moment to end in his life. When this stolen, forbidden moment was over, Kakarot would fly into a rage, would destroy him like he'd destroyed Frieza. Vegeta had taken what wasn't offered and, though he had been lost in the moment and his own torment, he couldn't claim he hadn't known what he was doing.

He nuzzled against Kakarot's warm, sweaty neck, breathing in that masculine scent, letting it intoxicate him as he leaned against the flesh he'd only ever dreamed about before. For this small eternity, he could pretend Kakarot was his, could pretend he could touch Kakarot any time he wanted. Whatever price he had to pay was worth this.

Kakarot's hands settled on his shoulders, and he tensed, his pleasant lethargy vanishing. The grip was firm but not painful, and Vegeta didn't fight when those hands pushed him away. He groaned as he slid out of Kakarot's perfect heat, then shivered as he was irrevocably put away from the warmth he'd held for such a short time.

Unable to look at Kakarot, unwilling to see the hate and fury burning in dark eyes that rarely glowed with anything other than amusement and good will, Vegeta lowered his head as Kakarot stood away from the shattered cliffside. Had he really just taken his rival? Had he truly claimed the idiot third-class? He knew he couldn't keep Kakarot, but couldn't he still taste the man's blood on his tongue?

"Vegeta...."

Here it comes. I still say it was worth it. You were worth it, Kakarot.

"Explain yourself."

Kakarot's voice was hard, but not particularly hateful. Vegeta knew the sound of hatred well, as he'd heard it in his own voice so very many times.

"I...can't, Kakarot."

"You'd better."

He shivered, suddenly realizing he might very well die naked and wishing he hadn't shredded his training gear. Gathering his considerable pride and strength around him, he raised his eyes, taking in Kakarot's nudity from toes to spikes, then finally meeting Kakarot's eyes.

The most chilling blankness Vegeta had ever seen outside his mirror stared back at him. Kakarot gave nothing away--no anger or fear, no sign of retaliation or retreat--and the first trickle of honest-to-the-gods fear struck Vegeta's spine.

"I regret if I hurt you, Kakarot, but I do not...I will not regret claiming you."

The younger Saiyan barely even blinked, still projecting icy calm.

Vegeta shook his head. "Do whatever you want, Kakarot. It was worth it."

The silence stretched out, Kakarot's blank expression never changing, his chiseled, beautiful body never shifting. Vegeta waited for judgment, looking his fill, figuring he didn't have to hide his admiration anymore. The truth was out, after all.

Finally, Kakarot grunted. "You won't admit it even now, will you?"

Narrowing his eyes, Vegeta shifted. "Admit what?"

"I know what this means, Vegeta." He flicked his fingers at the already healing bite mark on his neck. "I also know exactly how vulnerable it makes you. You may have claimed me, Vegeta, but I haven't claimed you, and that knowledge may well drive you crazy."

Vegeta felt his eye twitch, but that was the only outward sign of his internal flinch. How could Kakarot know that? How could he know exactly why Vegeta had done nothing about his...his lust until now?

Kakarot sighed impatiently, a touch of irritation marring his icy inscrutability. "For such a genius on the battlefield, Vegeta, you really don't know a damn thing, do you?"

Growling, Vegeta drew himself up, crossing his arms and scowling. What the hell was Kakarot talking about? What didn't Vegeta know?

Even more impatient, Kakarot shook his head. "Did it not occur to you that I could have stopped you at any time?"

Vegeta's jaw dropped.

"You could have just asked, Vegeta. You could have asked for what you wanted, but you couldn't, could you? You couldn't because you'll never admit the truth to yourself." Shaking his head again, Kakarot sighed. "And until you can, I don't want to see you."

His heart stopped. I'd rather you killed me, Kakarot. I'd rather you sent an energy beam through my heart or beat the very life from me....

Eyes still disturbingly devoid of emotion, Kakarot turned and squatted, sorting through the scraps of fabric littering the ground for anything wearable. Kakarot would soon leave, would leave and obviously deny Vegeta any contact. Even their relatively innocent and infrequent spars had at least given Vegeta a chance to look, to spend a little time in the presence he so needed.

If he didn't admit whatever the hell Kakarot wanted him to admit, he knew he would lose even that. What the hell did Kakarot want?

What do I not admit? I admit I want him. I admitted as much to him! What does he want from me?

Idiot, think of something! He's leaving!

Indeed, Kakarot had found a big enough scrap of clothing to tie around his waist, and, after a long, pointed look, turned his back and walked away.

"Kakarot, stop!"

The younger Saiyan paused but didn't turn around.

"Don't...don't leave." Swallowing hard, he lowered his eyes. "Please."

"Why not?"

"I...I want you to stay."

"Not good enough."

Kakarot started walking again, but Vegeta spoke up before he took three steps.

"I'll give myself to you, Kakarot. I...I want to."

Kakarot's eyes widened, and Vegeta thought maybe he'd gotten through. Just as relief flared to tentative life, the younger Saiyan sighed and shook his head.

"Not enough, Vegeta."

His heart stopped again as Kakarot turned away. He couldn't just stand here and watch as the only thing he'd ever wanted left him forever.

What does he want from me? What in all the gods' names have I not admitted?

"Kakarot...please...."

Pausing again, Kakarot made a strange noise in his throat. Vegeta's breath caught, his heart seeming to twist even as it jerked back into a relatively normal rhythm.

"I've admitted I want you, Kakarot." Gods, I never even begged Frieza for my life.... "I want you enough to give myself to you, to submit to you however you wish. I have swallowed my pride and begged you to stay." His fists clenched at the godsawful truth of the statement. "What more do you want from me?"

Fists clenched, Kakarot stood tall and tilted his face to the sky, though he still didn't turn around. "The truth, Vegeta. That's all I've ever wanted from you."

"What truth, dammit?" Hearing the desperation in his own voice, he winced. "That I want you? That I need you? That I'd rather you rip out my spine than leave me here alone because I don't know what the fuck you want me to say? What do you want from me, Kakarot? Exactly how many people do you think I've given myself to?"

"You've never given yourself to anyone, Vegeta. I don't have to ask. I know you." Kakarot sighed, his fists clenching and relaxing, clenching and relaxing. "But none of that matters if you don't know why you're willing to do so."

"Don't leave, Kakarot." It was intended as an order, but it came out a plea.

"I...have no choice, Vegeta."

A single step.

"Dammit, Kakarot! Don't you know how amazed I am to even be alive right now? Don't you know I would do anything to keep you!? Even take back what I've done so you'll never leave me again?"

"Damn you, Vegeta!" Turning in a fury, Kakarot covered the impressive distance between them in seconds, his hard, unforgiving hand clamping around Vegeta's throat and slamming him backwards into the cliffside. "I don't want you to take it back! I want you to admit why you did it!"

Choking against the tight hold but making no effort to get away, Vegeta struggled to form a protest. "I...did...dammit!"

"Not good enough!"

"What...do you...want...from me?"

Kakarot's fingers clenched, digging into his throat and cutting off even more of his air. Leaning close enough that Vegeta couldn't miss the blazing rage in those dark, dark eyes, Kakarot growled through bared teeth, fury making him look feral and oh, so Saiyan.

Gods, I love him like this....

And it clicked. His jaw snapped shut as his eyes opened wide. Kakarot's grip loosened slightly, and he sucked in a trembling, tearing gasp of burning air.

He understood, and from the slight softening of Kakarot's features, the younger Saiyan knew it.

"You...you knew...all along...."

Kakarot nodded, his rage receding more quickly, his hand lowering Vegeta back to his feet.

"It's...it's a stupid human concept, Kakarot. I can't...I won't...."

A bitter smirk. It would have looked more at home on Vegeta's features.

"You do, and you know it."

Despair filled him, clashing with his startling revelation. How could he say it? How could he say something so ridiculous? So patently weak and meeching?

Need was one thing. He could admit that without swallowing much of his pride. But...love?

But how could he not say it? If he didn't, Kakarot would leave....

"Wh-what I know...and what I can say...." He swallowed, reveling in the heat emanating from Kakarot's body even as he weighed the pleasure of the sensation against his pride. "Kakarot, they are two very different things."

Anger flared in Kakarot's eyes again, and Vegeta's heart twisted as if in retaliation for his own stupidity.

Just say it! They are only words!

But they aren't.... If they were, they wouldn't matter.

The hand at his throat tightened again, pressing him back against the cliff. Vegeta sighed against the returned pressure, though it had yet to cut off his air supply. This was the end; Kakarot would either kill him or leave him. Either way, it was the end.

"Maybe...maybe that's close enough...for now."

His heart thumped hard enough that he winced, even as he gaped. Kakarot grinned a little helplessly and leaned forward, brushing his lips against Vegeta's. The butterfly caress brought every sense Vegeta had ever had to life, his whole body stiffening with the sensation.

Tiny, light kisses trailed from his chin down his neck, Kakarot's warm mouth settling at the junction of his neck and shoulder. Vegeta's hands clenched in the rock at his back, and Kakarot struck, sinking his teeth into the muscle there.

Oh, gods....

Kakarot pressed closer, groaning and swallowing hard, his mouth working at the wound he'd created. Vegeta chewed at his lower lip to hold back a shout and tried to stop the thrust of his hips against Kakarot's. It didn't work well, especially when he felt Kakarot's hard length dig into his stomach through the strip of cloth he'd donned.

A heavy hand slid down his side and over his hip, sliding behind his thigh and lifting his leg. Vegeta didn't fight, willingly hooking his leg over Kakarot's hip to better grind against that thick erection. He wanted it. He needed it.

"Now, Kakarot...."

Kakarot groaned and purred, drawing hard at Vegeta's neck and drinking him down.

"Please...."

He lifted his other leg and hooked it around Kakarot's waist, giving himself freely and inviting Kakarot to take what was his. Another groan, and Kakarot shifted, positioning himself.

"You'll have to admit it someday, Vegeta." His lips brushed the singing, open wound with every word, and Vegeta squirmed at the sensation, desperate little grunts sticking in his throat. "I'll want to hear it someday."

"Anything, Kakarot. Please...."

A single, hard thrust, and they both howled. However, where Vegeta had immediately lost his mind and taken what he wanted with almost brutal force, Kakarot kept his thrusts slow and deep, stroking where Vegeta had simply fucked.

Their lips met, and Vegeta tasted his own blood and Kakarot's, the combination hazing his mind almost as much as the hard, slow rock of Kakarot's hips. It burned, yes, but nothing he'd ever experienced before compared. He wouldn't trade this pain for all the superficial pleasure in the world.

Hands stroked his skin and cupped his backside, tilting him away from the cliffside so Kakarot could thrust at a slightly different angle. Liquid ecstacy streaked up his spine, and he cried out, throwing his head back so hard he knocked loose a small landslide.

"Kakarrrrot!"

Growling with what could only be triumph, Kakarot thrust again and again, striking that same, devastating spot inside him with deadly accuracy, as proficient in this as anything else. Vegeta howled and cursed, clutched and shook, but Kakarot wouldn't be swayed, keeping his pace deep and even, his thrusts hard and agonizingly slow.

A large, hot hand suddenly stroked his arousal, and Vegeta howled again, his fingers gripping Kakarot's back hard enough to bruise. Laughing, though the sound was suspiciously strained, Kakarot finally sped up a little, still striking that insane spot within with brutal accuracy.

He'll kill me. No one can feel like this and survive it. I can't...I can't think....

Oooh, but what a way to go....

Faster still, and Vegeta actually felt his mind give up the fight, letting his body completely take over. Kakarot slipped an arm around his lower back, holding him close as he filled him again and again, plundering Vegeta's mouth as he plundered his body, conquering him with his patented patient, unstoppable momentum. Nothing in the universe could stop Kakarot, once he was determined to have his way.

Vegeta didn't even try.

"Harder, Kakarot! Finish it!"

A low chuckle as Kakarot's mouth moved to Vegeta's throat.

"I...I can't breathe! Please, Kakarot!"

Purring, Kakarot nuzzled against him, holding him close, enfolding him in his warmth and regard...but not changing his pace an iota.

"You...you win! Damn you, I...love you! Please, Kakarot, I love you!"

Kakarot's teeth again sank into his neck, but Vegeta barely noticed as Kakarot's hips pistoned against his own, thrusting so hard and fast the cliff cracked behind him. That maddening, stroking hand redoubled its efforts, as well. Nearly biting off his tongue as he tried to cut off his desperate, echoing cries, Vegeta shuddered as his release took him, his entire body locking up in ecstacy.

Three more vicious thrusts brought Kakarot over, as well, the younger Saiyan's howl gurgling in his throat as he nearly choked on Vegeta's blood. They stayed in tableau for a long, breathless moment--every muscle straining, their hearts skipping just enough beats to make them light-headed--then slumped together, Kakarot's knees giving out and sending them sprawling at the foot of the cliff.

But his grip on Vegeta never lessened, even when he gently pulled out and rolled slightly to one side so Vegeta could breathe.

Vegeta stared blindly at the sky, his heart hammering irregularly, his breathing labored and harsh, his body aching and exhausted and beautifully loose with afterglow. Nothing in his long, eventful life had ever felt like that. No one had ever given him even half as much regard, had ever tormented him quite so perfectly, had ever made him feel both terrifyingly vulnerable and so very cherished, all at the same time.

Why had it been so hard to say?

"Vegeta?"

Blinking, he lifted a hand, stroking it over Kakarot's arm, still amazed at the freedom to do so. "Yes, Kakarot?"

He felt Kakarot's grin against his neck. "Love you, too."

Damn, useless, defective heart. If it stops working one more time today....

"Hn. Of course, idiot." A smirk. "I knew it all along."

END

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